Love Cassandra Goodchild; September - October, 2009
Love Cassandra Goodchild; September 19, 2009
ALLIES x1 (Simulating a Media x1 Ability)
Goal: Act really really suspicious. Then, later on, have my actual Media pals attempt to WATCH for and later TRACE whomever is looking into this seedy activity. Bwehehe.
"Hey, Scooter! Remember how I know all those classy girls in Manhattan who do work down at the offices of the Daily Dirge and whatsnot. I need you and Meeks to go running around delivering some fresh cut flowers to them - because they're classy, ya'know... and uh... girls like flowers and stuff. I like flowers at least. I'm a girl. Actually, just get some flowers for everyone in the building who looks chill. People who have to do reporting in *this* city need all the joy in their lives that they can get.
Make it something benign... daisies maybe... mums... no need for roses here... if you really want to be awesome, get some of those carnations from the local convenience store that have all the glitter on them.
Anyhow...here's the important part though. While you're at it, make sure to drop off some large ominous manila envelopes to many many many people... not necessarily even the people whom I work with (actually, it's better to by and large avoid them). Make sure that they have the words "NOT A BRIBE" written on them in big black marker. Put like... between $0.04 to $1.00 in money in them. Add a happy postcard or something too, if you feel like it. Also, wear suits and sunglasses and whisper while making hand-gestures in the lobby. Pass each other packages in the alleyway behind wherever the Dirge workers are eating lunch. Use some choice awesome codespeak like "Fraj Boise-boy! I'll relay that back to Mr. Big Mac!" or "The klunker has entered the moonunit."
Just act like you're up to no damn good. Scoot of the po-po or renta-cops get called in."
This is part of a culture-jam plan I have in the works - and trust me... you'll be jamming culture on a level mere mortals like you can barely comprehend!"
Your media ladies get some classy bouquets, some clipped out coupons to Golden Corral, and some snazzy smashed pennies from various tourist spots in NYC. They're a little weirded out by your people's behavior, but take it in stride, thanks to Trisha's explanation to them.
Love Cassandra Goodchild; September 19, 2009
ALLIES x1 (Simulating a Politics x1 Ability)
Goal: Act really really suspicious. Then, later on, have my actual Politics pals attempt to WATCH for and later TRACE whomever is looking into this seedy activity. Bwehehe.
"Janice! Zoot! Yeah... even you Animal... I have a masterplan that I'm planning and it involves the infiltration of the US government! Did you hear me! We're going to the top!
So yeah... here's the thing. We're trying to freak-somebody out. Specifically, we're trying to pull a long term Yes-Men dealy by first creating some straw hippies to later put the fire on. Kats and kittens and droogs and devotchkas, let me elaborate:
There are to be two groups, group 1 and group Mango. Group 1 is to troll around capital hill protesting about the plight of the native Hawaiian speckled sand plover that's getting killed by oil and the misappropriation of healthcare funds. (I'll make a pamphlet that explains everything. Don't worry!) Anyhoo, what you need to do is wait around, answer questions, and wait for the Mangos to show up. That's probably you Zoot...
Drive up in a big black van while wearing a big black suit and big black glasses and a big black ear-piece. Nab Animal in a professional manner. Have him... *disappear* from the scene as it were. Leave Janice out there alone. Waving a tiny flag and wearing a shirt with a cute lil' plover on it. Have her begin to cry.
Make sure some people see. The best is yet to come, my friends."
It is done. They return to you, giggling over how badly they snookered the press into believing something bad was going on. Of course, none of them can show their face in DC for a while now.
Love Cassandra Goodchild; October 5, 2009
ALLIES x2 (Muppetesque Zine-authors) simulating use of the Computer Ability.
Goal: Avoid anyone actually catching my dudes making mischief by telling them to lay low - also pad out our fake stories a bit with Scooter's computer skillz.
"Hey guys, you should probably lay low post-plovering. Go to ground a bit. Call in sick to the jobs you don't have. Get that mowhawk or chelsea or other identity-disguising haircut you always wanted. That sort of stuff.
Also, Scooter... could you uh... use that thing on the typing machine - the Wikipedia. We should probably make it so people think there actually is a bird somewhere called the Hawaiian Speckled Sand Plover."
Your people scuttle
Scooter agrees to trying to do what he can about creating false info about this bird, but he cannot effectively mimic any completely realistic sources.
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